I'm married to my slave husband and we have sex. We do it the way I like. He is often not allowed to cum. Often he is just of service and then I dismiss him. I have taught him how to service me orally, and we also sometimes have intercourse because I sometimes like intercourse.
I see nothing wrong with slaves enjoying themselves when you use them for sex, as long as they don't get carried away and forget what they are supposed to be doing. It actually makes training easier if you are training a slave to do something in an enjoyable way.
Here's a basic rule of thumb: reward good behavior, punish bad behavior. Especially if your slave is a masochist you have to punish. Even if punishment is experienced as a kind of reward you have to do it. Punishment is a vital part of the process. If you really want a slave to remember what you are teaching, there is hardly a better way to make sure you have their attention and that they are fully alert and receptive. When I say punishment I don't mean banishing them from your sight or shaming the person, I'm talking about giving them some pain. Physical pain. A spanking, nipple-clamps, something like that. Pain is a very powerful tool: use it. The trick is to keep the punishments/rewards within what the slave feels is a tolerable degree. If you are too easy or too hard on a person you will lose their respect.
Here's a bit of advice about using pain in training. Don't torture your slave during training, it distracts them from thinking about you. If you are whipping a person, or stuffing them with a huge dildo, or whatnot, they are thinking about themselves right then. The ultimate object of sex training is to get your slave to the point where they can successfully do you, so that you can just relax and enjoy yourself.
First: know what the heck it is you want them to do. If you are not sure if you like a thing, then just explain to the slave that you are experimenting and are not sure if it will work. This is more advanced, by the way. The first thing you should do is teach your slave something simple that they can do that is guaranteed to work! If you know you like penetration then teach him or her how you like that done, and don't let up on them until they get it right. Then praise and reward.
Start by trying to simply teach the person. If that person can't concentrate or obey, then stop everything and concentrate all your attention on disciplining the person. Whatever you do to accomplish this, it should be just enough to shock them into listening well to you, without being so much that you anger or frighten the person.
If you have a real masochist on your hands you may have to break them down and tire them out before you can begin the sex training, because that's what calms their minds and puts them in the mood. Don't think of it as rewarding them: think of it as preparing them for training. The dough has to be kneaded before it's allowed to rise, right? It's nothing more or less than that.
It's very frustrating for a sex slave to remain untrained. If you are going to be using the person at all, then devote yourself to teaching them right. One of the most rewarding things for a slave, is for them to know for certain that they have satisfied you. If your sex slave cares for you, he or she will want to please and satisfy you even without the threat of punishment. You can help him or her to really feel like a slave and love being yours simply by making sure they know all the good techniques for getting you off.
An able slave is a proud and happy slave. It's good for your slave's self-esteem for them to know that they are capable.
Don't be shy. Throw your legs open, get your slave's face down there and explain everything. Give them a guided tour of your hot spots. Tell that cumsucker what words you prefer to hear and make them repeat everything you say until they say it with the proper degree of enthusiasm. Stop everything and whip 'em if you have to. I know it takes a lot of self-discipline and it's a hassle to actually train a person, but that's too dang bad! It comes with the territory. You are the one that wants a slave, so you have to take responsibility for bringing them up right.
Slaves aren't born ~just knowing~ how to be a slave. You have to teach them. It doesn't matter how many mistresses they had before you or how long you have been partners. If you haven't properly trained your slave yet, then stop everything else and start today. Now is good. Do it right now. :)
Part two: additional considerations
Since it's generally true that women tend to be reticent about sexual matters, I'm afraid it's still very important for male slaves to be stereotypically male in one way: push. Do it nicely, be tactful, be sweet, be patient, but don't give up. Insist on getting some answers. If you are going to be getting sticky then you have a right to know ~how you'll know~ when you have done well.
It's very sad for me to report this, but the truth must be said or no progress can be made. Women in horrifyingly large numbers aren't enjoying sexual release with their partners. I know, because they have told me so. A shocking number of women have never experienced orgasm, even by their own hand. I hope you agree with me that this is deplorable and that we are each obliged to do what we can to help.
Think of it as a civic duty and sacred trust. :)
You may wonder how it's possible. Part of the answer is hormones. Part of the answer is our social climate. Part is temperament, part is upbringing. There are many variables. The problem is complex, and each woman's solution will no doubt be unique.
As a slave (whether male or female) you can play a vital role in empowering your mistress. Encourage her to relax and to fantasize. Exactly how to do that is between you two. Remember each mistress is unique. No matter what you think you know from experience with past mistresses, you have to be humble enough to start all over again when you start a new relationship. If you have a long-time relationship that has never seemed fully complete, then be humble enough to start over as if for the first time. I know that might be difficult, but the best things in life often are. :)
I really want to emphasize for the sake of any tenderhearted mistresses who may be reading that it is definitely OK to punish a slave. It's very likely that they not only expect it, but need it. This is not just a game, and you are not being mean. The whip is a very useful tool, and when you become comfortable with wielding it you'll have made a magnificent friend for life. Forget diamonds: whips and rope are a girl's best friend!
If you have a masochistic slave on your hands and/or in your bed, they will crave punishment and torture. This can be annoying if you are not in the mood to chase them around, but tighten your girdle and do it anyway. The beauty of it is that when you give it to them, they are transformed by it, and this can be very good for your relationship. Sex with a well-punished slave is just plain better. Try it and see!
Now, Ladies, I know that you are not born knowing how much is too much, how much is just right, so you have to practice, practice, practice. With practice you will find your own way to your own special system. Once you have your system figured out, you can guarantee both yourself and your slave perfect satisfaction at will. This will just color your world gorgeous, so it is important to not give up. It's worth it. Keep trying. Sometimes, when things are at their strangest or scariest, that's when you have to keep on, because it means you are close to success. If you have never experienced it before, it might be frightening or embarrassing at first. That's all right. The most beautiful lotuses grow out of the ugliest mud. Remember that.
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